Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

~Five Things Your Metamour Wants You To Know~

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1) I love the same person you love, though not ever in the same way. Never the same. I cannot quantify love: not mine; not yours; not anyone’s. I understand exquisitely, that when he is with me, he is not with you, and I am grateful that you are willing to gift me a portion of his time and attention. I know that isn’t always easy.

2) Your memories are yours, special between the two of you, and I’m not looking to take those from you, or stop you from making new ones. I recognize and respect the place you occupy in his life, and in his heart.

3) I can’t exist in a vacuum. You will always be affected by me, and I by you. Whether you lay eyes on me or not, you will feel my presence in our mutual lover’s heart. I want you to be comfortable in that, and know that I only ever want good things for him, and for you.

4) I don’t always know what to say or how to act around you. If I say too much, will I make you uncomfortable? If I say too little, will you see me as stand-offish? I often over-analyze each of our interactions, because I so want you to be okay with me, and conversely, I with you, but my intentions are always good.

5) My hope for you is a unique, loving, satisfying, fulfilling relationship with the person you fell in love with. The fact that the man you love is the same one I am also in love with, does not lessen that hope in the least. If anything, it makes me more vested in your happiness, because I want him to be happy.

And you make him happy.

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7 thoughts on “~Five Things Your Metamour Wants You To Know~

  1. This I love. This I found so useful. I was able to use it to explain to one of my partners how I could love him as well as somebody else. It worked, he understands, we’re working together now, onwards!

  2. Pingback: An Introduction To The Blog “Poly Nirvana” | Sexuality & Love in the Arts

  3. Pingback: ~Gift~ | Poly Nirvana

  4. Thanks, my fiance’s girlfriend just sent me this with a hug. :)

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