Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

~Fuck You, Feelings.~

1 Comment

Dear Emotion,

Our relationship just isn’t working for me anymore. I have put in hours and hours of effort and understanding with you. I have listened and pondered and reflected. I have absorbed; integrated. I have tried sitting with you, embracing you, being in the moment with you.

I have also wasted my time arguing, reasoning and debating with you. You are so hard to get along with! It doesn’t matter what my brain says, you always scream louder. You are impossible! I mean really, I try to be reasonable and thoughtful with you and all of a sudden I’m blindsided by jealousy. For no good reason that I can find. I mean, what IS that? Tell me, how is that even constructive?

I think it’s time we admitted we just aren’t good together. I am exhausted trying to make peace with you. I am done. I’m better suited to Logic and Reason. The universe makes sense that way. I don’t want to see you any more. Thank you for all the good times, but I can’t live with the uncertainty of what each new day brings with you. We are through.

~Ginger

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Dear Ginger,

Fine. See how long you last without me. You’re no picnic either.

Sincerely,
EMOTION

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Dearest Emotion,

I miss you. This is harder than I thought, being without you. Maybe we should try again.

~Ginger

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Ginger,

No. You were right. We don't work. I've moved on. I hope Logic and Reason are everything you ever wanted.

EMOTION

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Darling Emotion,

Please. I adore you. I can't be without you anymore. Logic and Reason are not what I thought they would be without you. Emotion, Sweetheart, you are special, and life is dull and flat without you. I'm sorry I was so difficult, always wishing you were something else. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I was so wrong. I want you, and everything you come with. I want the happiness and the sadness; the joy, the insecurity and the fear. I want all of you, even the woeful insecurity and anger. I will gratefully take the jealousy and the fear back. For even in those moments, I am exquisitely reminded who I am, and what is important to me. I take you as you are, for everything you offer me. Please don’t leave me. I need you.

Always,
~G

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Ginger, beloved,

I miss you too. I miss your cool reserve, and the face you make when you are over-analyzing me. I love you and the way you have of letting me be with you completely, even if I make you feel weird. I will make an effort to listen to Logic and Reason more, but I make no promises. You will have to accept me for everything I lay on the table for you. I’m not trying to hurt you. I simply am what I am.

Call me, my love. 🙂

Yours forever,
EMOTION

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One thought on “~Fuck You, Feelings.~

  1. After some pretty deep trauma therapy, and shortly thereafter a blow out new trauma with my husband…
    I disassociated for days. It is scary. Seems like it would be easier without emotions, but feeling nothing is much scarier.
    Fuck you C-PTSD! Lol I like my complicated jumbled emotions. ❤

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