“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” -Jack Canfield
What I’m really afraid of is that I don’t have it in me to do this hard thing well. That I’m not loving enough, understanding enough, selfless enough. That I don’t have it in me, to do good poly. That I will get too tired; too weary.
Some days I just don’t want to think about it any more. I don’t want to communicate, I don’t want to be mindful, I don’t want to be in it for the greater good. I want to have what I want, what I need, NOW. I don’t want to wait.
I love the theory of polyamory. But sometimes, the practice of poly is exhausting.