I went on a date. A first date. This was a big thing. I absolutely hate first dates. I feel scrutinized, awkward, and nervous. My palms sweat and I can’t think of anything smart or witty enough to say. Generally I just feel like I want to throw up.
This boy contacted me on OkCupid. He was polite and respectful. (More importantly, he wrote in complete sentences, punctuation included.) His profile was brief and neutral. I decided to take a chance and I agreed to dinner, near my house, knowing next to nothing about him.
I should have backed out when he offered to cancel dinner so that we could “skip to the friends with benefits” part. Sigh.
But no. Off to dinner I went.
Let’s just say that when he actually said the words, “I’m going to go home and whack off thinking about you”, I was cured of first date anxiety forever. I have lived through the worst first date I can imagine. And I can’t stop laughing about it.
He offered to pay for dinner. I let him. He walked my to my car, and I shook his hand, from three feet away. I expected that to be the end of it. But apparently he thought it went well, and I had a “Good night beautiful, I can’t wait to see you again” text before I got home.