So this happened yesterday:
Initially I was suspicious. My throat got tight, and I could feel my heartbeat speed up. (Also, I kind of wanted to throw up.)
Intellectually, I know there are real people who read what I write, and have opinions. I am absolutely sure that some Dear Readers think I am full of shit and write like a third-grader. (I am also aware that there is a solid little group of readers who sort of like me. Which makes me happy.)
However, all of a sudden I knew, “Holy hell, people are looking at me.”
And I froze.
As I painfully made my way through the review, I began to relax. My heart rate started to slow. It’s a good review. I felt scrutinized, but I was okay. It’s a long read, but as I neared the end my throat clenched yet again.
The anonymous author of the Sexuality In Art blog states he/she has met me, but I was unaware who (he?) was. Then the author drops a bit of personal information about me that assures me this is a true statement.
I’m not sure how I feel about this. I live in a small-ish place, and while some of my friends are aware that my blog is indeed mine, I have tried to stay fairly anonymous. I attended a “Non-monogamy Discussion Group” last week, and I am certain, from the review, that the author was there. There was no talk of this blog during that meeting. Someone put the pieces together, at some point, as to who I really am, and what I do, which makes me nervous. My anonymity allows me to write. My anonymity gives me freedom. I believe I am nearing the time when I will be completely out as poly, and out as Ginger as well. But I am not there yet.
That is all.