So I mentioned a few days ago that my sweet friend was having a crisis.
In a nutshell, this beautiful, smart, professional and wise woman found out quite suddenly that her husband of many years was not only using cocaine, but was dealing. And her adult children knew. Her disbelief upon discovering that her two grown boys had known, was further compounded when they both told her that her husband had been so casual about it, so open with it, that they never imagined that she hadn’t known. They were astounded that she could have been so oblivious.
This has weighed heavily on my mind these past few days. How is it that some things that are so apparent to others, can be completely out of our personal realm of reality? Is it simply a matter of perspective? Perhaps we soothe our minds into holding ourselves and our lives together, by turning a blind eye, not asking too many questions, not allowing ourselves to really see.
What am I missing, and do I really want to see it?
Lately I have this feeling like something is shifting, and it’s right there, but I can’t see it. Almost like the sensation of a word being right on the tip of your tongue, but not being able to find it in your brain. I am wondering if it is something that I am afraid to see, afraid to embrace. Change is painful, even good change. Anything that is different, can be uncomfortable, and I resist being uncomfortable.