I have a profile on a popular dating site, OKCupid.com. (This is where I first met Special Man Friend, who, by the way, I messaged first, and I never message first…) I get four or five messages a week, and generally the messages are short, poorly written, or just plain ridiculous.
“So what I’m seeing is that you are a cougar. With my dates when we become intimate, my first question is how many orgasms would you like? Then I +1. Experience counts. Just saying….” ~male, 51
“hey there” ~male, 39
“Hi there how are you? i liked ur profile so go check mine out and if u like what u read and see then get back to me k names Randal look forward to hearing back from u” ~male, 44
“You are magically delicious!! :)” ~male, 50
Then there’s the assortment of young twenty-ish males who take one look at my picture and offer themselves up to me to teach them things. Just tonight, I received a new message from a nineteen year old. Yes, nineteen. (He loves my red hair, he’s just about to start college, and his favorite movie is Joe Dirt.)
So I was pleasantly curious when I received a well written paragraph from an age appropriate local man. I clicked on over to his profile to read more, and looked at some of the “match” questions to compare. This isn’t something I usually do, but Special Man and I were talking about a week ago, and he said he always looks at questions and answers, as they can tell a lot about a person, and I thought it might save me some time.
Well.
The idea of gay and lesbian couples having children is not acceptable to him. He thinks homosexuality is a sin, and he believes that a man should be the head of the household.
Next.
Dating is hard.
Poly Nirvana 
The FIRST place I look on OkC are the questions. I look at the match percent, glance at how many they’ve answered (e.g. if they’ve answered 5 and we’re only a 60% match because he likes horror movies, I’ll move on to the profile). I really don’t get why guys message us girls so much when we’re such a horrible match!
Oh, I’m singing a different song now. I’ll always peek at the questions. (I just never put much stock in those percent matches, and I assume when a horrible match messages me, that he doesn’t either!) ~Ginger
Always check the match questions. Click “important to me” for the good stuff.
Thanks for the tip. I should revisit my questions. I answered most of them four years ago… I’m a significantly different girl now! ~Ginger
I’ve had such a hard time on OkC and POF…FetLife seems to be going better for me, but of course, I do have some interest in bdsm.
Oh, I’m on Fet as well, but it doesn’t function (for me) meeting potential or dates. Might be the small-ish area I live in. I might just be too discriminating. (Picky. I’m too picky!)
I’m definitely sacrificing proximity in hopes of finding people I jibe with more.
There is also a chrome ad on that works with okcupid…when you view a profile, it brings up a “poly friendly” percentage right on the cover page 🙂
I’ll have to check that out…Thanks for the tip! ~Ginger