I feel as if I’m in some sort of No Man’s Land. I’m doing much better than even last week as far as pain goes, but my body is tired all of the time, if not utterly exhausted. I’m starting to realize how many things I need to take care of, things that were necessarily ignored in the weeks after my car wreck. The idea of catching up and returning to real life is a little overwhelming right now. But, I figure, that the first step is acknowledging my trepidation and then moving forward.
My doctor said I needed two more weeks away from work, so that is a big relief. I was worried about how I would be able to handle the demands of bedside nursing at this point. I’ve started to drive again, and my palms get sweaty and my heart speeds up a little, but I am not paralyzed by fear of another accident, even though it is in the back of my brain. I suppose that part is a natural consequence. We learn from experience.
I went to see a counselor last week, just to be proactive in dealing with some of the stress that I’m feeling start to pile up. The weather has been dim and gloomy and I worry that some depression will sneak back in without me realizing. Being proactive is difficult, when what I want to do is stay in bed and baby myself and my injuries, which is a horrible plan, I know. I have let a few friends know about my concerns, and have given them permission to prod me a little if I begin to withdraw. In addition, I am on the look- out for a light box, to hopefully lessen the effects of the seasonal aspects of my mood.
Writing this status update, is my personal declaration that it’s time to return to real life. It’s time to focus further out than making it through the next 24 hours with as little pain as possible. It’s time to do some hard things, like look for a new car, and deal with the bills from the accident.
Being a grown-up is hard.
7 thoughts on “~Returning~”
Sooo like your musings and meanderings…hope you get back to feeling your real self soon.
Thank you so much! You are very sweet to take the time to comment. 🙂
I’m glad that you’re taking care of yourself, and not giving in to the urge to withdraw. 🙂 And kudos on driving again already! I had a minor fender bender this time last year and I was surprised by how long it took me to relax again while driving (I was a new driver so at that time).
I’m also in the market for a light box (or “happy light” as I’m used to calling them). It’s probably getting closer to the time where I should start figuring that out.
One of my friends found one on Craig’s list, for cheap. My doctor said they’re about 200.00 on line. I’d really NOT like to spend that much… ~Ginger
oof, $200? A friend passed on that sometimes you can find them at Costco, but I haven’t done any reading yet into what the quality threshold is for one that’s actually effective.
“I have let a few friends know about my concerns, and have given them permission to prod me a little if I begin to withdraw. ”
This is a fabulous idea that I may have to use for my own depression.
I’m glad you’re doing such a good job of getting better.
Depression bites. Use whatever you can to get through it! ~Ginger