This is a lovely little writing about the love that remains after “new relationship energy” settles into something else. Take the time to read it. I enjoyed it very much. ~Ginger
I went car shopping today, after I went to the dentist. I’m not sure which was worse.
I miss my old car, the one I left in Oregon. You know what else I miss?
Coloring books and Colorforms. Holly Hobbie. Watching Little House On The Prairie. Riding my bike down a steep hill, as fast as I could with no helmet on. Bottle Caps candy, and Zero bars. Colored tights and tight braids. Sticker books and paper dolls.
Now it’s car payments and electric bills. Parent-teacher conferences and grocery shopping. Making sure there’s always toilet paper in the house.
Being a grown-up is hard.
A good portion of my interactions with Special Man Friend take place via technology like text, email, and Google Talk. He lives twenty minutes away from me (twenty five on a heavy traffic day…) and I see him at least once a week, usually twice. It’s important to me to have some daily contact, though I think his need for it is a little less than mine. He knows me well, and if a day passes without hearing from me, he knows something is up and he hunts me down, which I enjoy. (I’m such a girl.)
Because of this concentrated, pared down type of communication, I have learned to ask for what I need. Whatever is going on in my head, in my life, in my day, I know that Special Man will be there for me. Don’t get me wrong, there have been those times he’s failed miserably at giving me what I ask for, and there have been other times when I have been so out of touch with myself that he was scrambling to connect with me and I was simply out of reach and oblivious.
Yesterday was not such a good day for me. The details are inconsequential, it was just one of those days when life piles up, and all I really wanted was to turn out the lights and cuddle up with someone who loves me, and not talk. But that’s not the structure of my relationship. I have to find alternate ways to nurture myself and my partner. Here is a part of the conversation that relaxed me into the rest of my night. When it was finished, I put myself to bed early, knowing I was loved and wanted and that one bad day didn’t change any of that.
Him: I like the way you smile big and arch your eyebrows sometimes when we talk.
Me: (okay I could see that. the just was a manifestation of my frustration as to what the hell is wrong with me.)