Someone asked me a question last night that was much harder to answer than I expected it to be.

“So what’s your kink, Ginger?” he asked.

I like some kinky things, and I dislike others. I love fire. I dislike electricity. My feet are a crazy hot erogenous zone, and respond to all sorts of things. I enjoy thuddy impact; but I do like enduring stingy impact. I’m not a huge fan of rope, though I like being restrained and constricted. I love a struggle.

But that wasn’t really the question.

I’ve been thinking on this all morning. I’ve often said, that my favorite thing about the kink community is all the people I have the chance to meet and know, people I might not ever have crossed paths with in my day to day life, had I not found this circle of association. I love the diversity and range of personalities and experiences that I get to interact with; those connections, whether brief or ongoing, serve to teach me things about myself, and about who I am.


In the end, my kink is not the people themselves. It’s the dance. It’s that energy exchange which occurs with each interaction. Ultimately, it’s finding those rare people who, somehow, I simply click with. I do not play with many people, and this is because that indefinable, positive energy connection is so very important to me. When that is present, I feel safe and strong and vulnerable and open, and for me, that is the absolute hottest thing in my world. It allows me to give myself over to the dynamic, and to let it be what it’s going to be. That connection, left unlabeled, lets the dynamic develop organically and I am free to give myself over to it, without predetermined expectations of role boundaries. I love the unknown aspect of that.

I adore allowing myself those infinite possibilities with each new person who crosses my path.

So the next time someone asks me, “What’s your kink, Ginger?” I’m just going to smile and say:

“This. This is my kink. You and me, and everything that comes next. Dance with me.”

9 thoughts on “~Click~

  1. Vulnerability is the hottest. The more someone has to be vulnerable about and lets me in the better. I never thought of it that way until just now. Thanks Ginger.

  2. Hi there – this is not a comment on this particular post, just wanted to say that I just discovered your blog and I’m really enjoying reading your musings!

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