Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

~Habitat~

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My New Year’s Resolution, or theme for the year, is “Do good things. (But not all the good things!!)”

I’m a bit of a failed perfectionist, as my daddy called me once when I was much younger. At the time I didn’t understand, I thought he was making a joke that wasn’t very funny. And maybe he was. But I have often not started projects, or attempted new things, out of a sense of impending failure. After all, if I wouldn’t be able to do it well, (or perfectly) why even try?

It’s horrible reasoning.

I cleaned and organized half of my pantry. I stood back and smiled and felt okay about it. I enjoyed how nice it looked. I need to learn to embrace baby steps.

Here’s a good little resource I found:

http://unfuckyourhabitat.com

My “good things” theme also extends to my relationships and to learning new things. I’m shopping around for a good camera. I’ve wanted to get back into photography for some time. I’ve got a few other things brewing as well.

As far as my relationships go, at this point I know I just want more…of…something. It’s difficult for me to admit that I really do want something different than what I have, right now. Special Man Friend has said it, almost from the beginning. I need more. I want more. And he can’t give it to me. I’m just not sure what that looks like, and I’m a little scared. Our level of entanglement is complicated and I don’t know where to go with that.

So here’s to finding more good things. As hard as that may be.

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