I’ll be in Georgia for the Atlanta Poly Weekend in June, and I’m so excited! I have heard wonderful things about this event, and I’m happy that my friend, the divine Miss M. will be flying down with me. If anyone within the sound of my voice is planning to attend, I want to know about it! (Maybe we can have a little Poly Nirvana meetup?)
Check out the presenters list…
I’m continuing to see Lady Therapist, and the process is exhausting. As I am processing and focusing on this massive amount of baggage I’ve been carrying, I’ve been at a loss with my writing. I miss it, but I am unsure where to go with it. Do I force it, and write about things that I am detached from, or do I quietly wait for my inspiration to return? My stress levels have been high, I have been dealing with irritability and headaches, and I’ve had several significant confrontations with Special Man in the recent weeks. I’m exhausted.
So I guess I wait. I wait for the peace that I’ve promised myself, will come when I can finally release the choices and circumstances that led me into and subsequently out of, a marriage which left me bruised and sad. I’m starting to think that it’s time to forgive that twenty-two year old girl who didn’t know what she was beginning, the day she wore that white dress. And then the twenty-four year old woman, who almost escaped…but didn’t. I chose to go back. I could have made a different choice, but I didn’t.
And I’m still angry about that.
(On a positive note, I had a really good cookie today, and it made me very happy. In that moment, it was the best thing that had happened to me all day, and I recognized it, and smiled. It was a Swedish fruit cookie, and I hid one away for SMF to have tomorrow when he comes for dinner. Whatever else happens, just remember…There are always cookies.)
Poly Nirvana 
Thanks for the brutal honesty. May I gently suggest setting aside the guilt and anger as you pick-up forgiveness of that little girl who was? We wouldn’t be exactly who we are unless we were exactly who we were.
What a lovely way of putting it, thank you!
Sounds fun, this weekend is Frolicon in Atalanta and I’ll be presenting two sessions on poly and other forms of open marriage as a viable way of life for the long-haul.
Excellent! Best of luck with your presentations!
I’m sorry that the process is messy right now, but I have to admit I’m glad for you that you’re making the tough choice to deal with all of it. I think of it like cleaning your room. It’s like you pull everything out of the closet and from under the bed and from places you shoved it all and make this big messy pile in the middle of the room so you can sort what you want to keep and what you don’t, and you figure out where you want to keep the things you are keeping and what they are for. It DOES seem like dealing with this stuff that it’s messier at first. I hope you find ways to be soothed as you do it. *pets*
That’s the perfect analogy. I always hate cleaning my room; getting into the thick of it and running out of steam. And there’s nothing you can do but trudge through. I’m trudging, girl, I’m trudging. ♡♡♡