This is an excercise in non-structured structure.

I’ve set my timer for fifteen minutes, and I am just going to write.  I have been worried and tense lately, and though I usually feel as if I am keeping my head above water, lately I feel myself choking on the seawater more and more frequently.  I can’t write, though I want to, often.  My mind is everywhere, and nowhere,  and I worry that my lack of focus will make for a very substandard blog post.

(I’m a perfectionist, ya’ll.)

I had a long dinner with Mrs. A tonight.  It was supposed to be a quick dinner, but…it wasn’t.

What is it about non-monogamy that makes people act so weird?  (Myself included.)  She’s madly in love with the man I love.  He loves both of us, as well as his wife CC.  I’m a little freaked, Mrs. A’s a little freaked, and though I haven’t talked to CC this week, I expect shes at least slightly freaked.

I’m not sure if Special Man Friend is freaked at all.

Anyway.  Upcoming topics:

~My Tiny Foods birthday party last weekend, at which my mother showed up unannounced and met her daughter’s boyfriend’s wife.

~My grand plan to start my own photography business in 2015 and greatly reduce the number of hours I work as an RN.

~Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia, Type 2A, and what will be happening in 12 days.

~Blackfoot, Idaho.

~Intimacy vs. possessiveness.

(Fifteen minutes isn’t very long…)


3 thoughts on “~Fifteen~

  1. Trying to wrap my head around Special Man in loving three women and remembering all the problems stemming from just trying to take on two from your stories. I don’t get it… I wouldn’t personally want to take it on. And what if a fourth comes along….what will you be thinking….to me personally I would feel watered down in terms of importance to that person, thrown aside a little for something new, fresh, “better” in terms of drama,. etc……

    I am just thinking out loud but to me Polyamory (which I do not practice ) seems like something to work on and find deep intimacy by working through problems not amassing more before you get a handle on it. And yes nothing is perfect but to me its just another wrench in the gears and unfair to all three of you….sorry just expressing my opinion. much love xo – And hey a great fifteen minute exercise

    1. Everything you say, has gone through my head. But I am happy. I am loved. Right now, today, I have what I need. That may change. If it does, and we cannot work through it, our relationship will change. I like being able to accept today for how wonderful it is, and how much love I get to experience. 🙂

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