I named him Leo, after Leo McGarry from West Wing. He was born ten days before I started nursing school, and he’s an enthusiastic, energetic, creative, affectionate and loving kid. This sucks. I’d like to say, all’s well that ends well, but right now even my bones are exhausted, and Leo just told me I should take a shower. I guess two days of stress and worry can make a momma bear a little frayed around the edges.
And stinky, apparently.
Yesterday was a long day, with surgery lasting just over three hours, and a long recovery period complicated by violent vomiting that would not stop. He was given drug after drug, a fluid bolus, acupressure wrist bands that might help (they didn’t), more drugs, and, when a kind nurse told me she was trained in “therapeutic touch”, and offered to work on his energy, I said bring it. (I wish I had a picture.) She was a very kind woman, who didn’t bat an eye when he began to throw up during her healing session.
We tried more drugs. Finally. Peace.
And then my important person was there I had almost tried to let him off the hook earlier in the evening. He texted me right back.
::I need to be with you, kitten. I’ll be there in 30 minutes::
(He calls me kitten sometimes. It’s my favorite.)
He apologized for getting upset when I told him I wasn’t happy he was leaving town this week. “I wasn’t thinking,” he said. He isn’t going anywhere. And, in three weeks and six days, when it’s time for Georgia’s surgery, he’s taking a personal day at work so he can be with us. And that is how I want my relationships to work. Communicate, adjust and readjust, move forward. I’m fortunate that I get to recognize these small milestones, because that’s how I see them, as important little relationship mile markers. Look at us, I think sometimes. We are really doing this.
Tonight CC and SMF were both here. She sat and crocheted, he ordered sandwiches and managed the bedside table for Leo. I sat on the floor, my arms wrapped around my knees and did not cry. It was easy, this being together, and in my exhausted state I felt emotional, and raw, and grateful.