Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

~Easy~

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Thanksgiving was wonderful.  There’s no other word for it. It felt happy and comfortable.  My house was full, the food was delicious, and my kids didn’t embarrass me. After years of parenting, I figure if my children know this one rule, it covers most behavior:  Don’t embarrass me.  Fortunately, they can all quote this rule without any prompting.

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Special Man and CC were here, and I had a particularly nice time being in CC’s space, and having her in mine.  I think we’ve finally made it to an authentic commitment to each other, as a part of this bigger picture of our individual relationships and how they affect us. It’s not just about being polite any more, which we were sometimes (too many times) not very good at.  Anyway, she is a much fancier cook than I am, and she made some amazing food, the kind that you take pictures of.  I’m the mother of many teenage boys…I made the basics, and yes, that included stuffing from a box.  Somehow it all worked together, my instant potatoes and gravy, side by side with her spinach gratin and pumpkin cheesecake.  I think that while cooking is her thing, getting my kids fed and happy is my thing, and everyone was satisfied.  We even had a ham and turkey.

I thought it was interesting that while I am fully about time and simplicity when it comes to food, It was important to me to have a pretty table, and nice dishes.  I conceded with super nice, heavy clear plastic plates, but we had tablecloths and candles and a few festive decorations, and we ate together.  It was a nice balance of formal and easy. I loved it, and everything just worked together.  My green bean casserole, with the canned soup and those exquisite fried onions, sat side by side with CC’s fancy brussels sprout, apple, bacon, almond, cranberry dish, and everyone was happy.  (Well, I was very happy.)

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CC’s partner of a few years was also here, as were SMF’s sister and a date.  We had sixteen people and I didn’t stress out too much. I stressed out just the right amount, actually. The kids played Rock Band, we put a movie on, we colored with markers.

I can’t wait to do it again. I’m thinking about maybe instituting a monthly family poly dinner.  Sometimes small, sometimes larger, but just with people we are genuinely connected to.

Tomorrow is Georgia’s big surgery, and so I am in preparation mode.  SMF is here, after struggling each of the nights before the last two surgeries, I finally just came out and asked him to be with me the night before this one.  Monday night is generally the night he spends a few hours with Mrs. A, and I kind of wondered if it was unreasonable of me to even ask for him to be here instead of there.  And I decided, after two horrible “night-befores”, where I felt overwhelmed and worried and stressed out and alone…that it was better to say what I needed, and how I was feeling, and what I thought would help.  So here we are, I’m packing and puttering and baking banana muffins, and he’s working on job-related stuff upstairs, and everything feels just a little better.  He’s my people, and I’m glad he’s here. It’s nice to have a friend here, and he’ll stay tonight, and leave straight for work in the morning.

I’ll be on my own tomorrow, while Georgia is under anesthesia.  Special Man couldn’t take the day off of work.  I’m disappointed, but I don’t feel alone.  I’m important, and I’m loved, and I can do this.  Three major surgeries in eight weeks…  I’ll be relieved to celebrate New Year’s this year, with these behind us.

Good night.  Time for sleep.

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