~Job interview was good, nerve-wracking. Haven’t heard anything, and I have no gut feeling one way or the other as to whether or not a job offer is forthcoming.
~I am having some wanderlust. I want new places,new things to look at, new people to watch.
~I paid off my car this month. Friday it wouldn’t start. It remains in the parking lot of Old Navy, until tomorrow when I can get it towed to the mechanic.
~I’m idly wondering why Reporter hasn’t asked me out again, though he has still been in contact.
~I am having some angst about our local poly community, which is completely tied up in the kink community, and, in addition, has a big rift down the middle, which in a large city wouldn’t be such a big deal, but in a tiny place like this, means everyone knows EVERYONE.
~Special Man has things going on, in his family, and in his other relationships that leave me at a loss. I don’t want to hover, or smother him, but I want him to feel supported. I want to be a good friend, and a good partner, but the golden rule doesn’t always apply to relationships when needs can vary so greatly from person to person. If I’m struggling, I generally want to talk. And talk. Until I get it all out and can make a little peace. Therefore, the first kind of support I think to give, is to listen, and to encourage conversation. Except I don’t think that’s his coping mechanism. I think he internalizes and works things out in his head. Quietly. So then I feel kind of helpless, like there’s nothing for me to DO. I’m working on it. I think he knows I’m here. I check in with him, but I don’t know what else to do.
~I feel good about most things. And if I don’t feel good about everything, that’s okay too. I feel optimistic. I feel good about myself, and there’s not much more that I can ask for.