I go back and forth about the poly community.
Let’s backtrack. There’s not much of a poly community here. It’s a small-ish, conservative, fairly religious area. Polyamory is still considered immoral by a lot of people, even if they aren’t religious at all. I wasn’t out as poly for a long time, and now, though I’m mostly out, it’s a quiet “out”. My friends and family know my partner is married, and that his wife is actively supportive. They know I’m non-monogamous. Sometimes I think it makes a couple of them uncomfortable, but I haven’t had anyone aggressively confront me with negativity, or drop me as a friend (or as a sister, or as a daughter.)
This is why community is so important to me.
I want to be around people who embrace my choices. Not simply tolerate them.
I don’t consider myself a poly activist, but since I WANT community, I have to go out and pretend to be one. Except I’m kind of shy. (Also, sometimes people annoy me and I just want to stay in bed.) What I really need is a fairy godmother who will conjure me a fully functioning polyamorous community, complete with established events and nice people.
So tonight, I was Googling “polyamory community”, in an attempt to find an article that I could share in my (very small) local super secret Facebook group, about how to build a community. I want people to get proactive with networking and socializing, so that I can, selfishly, have my dream community.
I didn’t really find an appropriate article. So I’m writing instead.
Why community is important, by Me.
1) We get to learn about ourselves, by learning about others.
2) We get inspired and encouraged by the examples of other people.
3) We get to see how other styles of relationships work. (Or don’t work.)
4) We get to have fun! We get to socialize, and laugh, and eat, and do things!
5) We get to create our own social norms, within our groups.
6) We get to feel accepted. We get to belong. We get to love, and be loved.
Community. I want it.