Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

~Complicated~

4 Comments

Sometimes, I’m tired of how complicated polyamory is.  I get tired of talking about it, thinking about it, reading about it.

I understand this is ironic, considering that I’ve spent the last few years, talking about poly, thinking about poly, and writing about poly for goodness sake.

I don’t wanna have to think so much about scheduling, and jealousy, and societal norms.

Waah.

Actually, I think I’m just in a cycle right now, where things are piling up on me, and I long for something, anything, to be easy.  Rote, if you will.  I think I miss that security.

I think I miss the mind numbing knowledge of exactly how I was “supposed” to act when I was a young, married,monogamous, religious, housewife.  I wouldn’t change anything.  But yeah.  I think I miss not having to think so much.

Maybe I should take a nap.

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4 thoughts on “~Complicated~

  1. Oh boy do I get this. I wouldn’t change anything either but since entering poly and coming out, and being very open in my small, rural community and facing some backlash and destroyed relationships, I wistfully look back on the life I had. I could go grocery shopping and not raise eyebrows. Now I live my life out of a suitcase, and that is wonderful and exciting, and I am seeing the world because of poly, but I don’t have much time alone. Everything is different and that is good, but its not always easy. Always being one step away from overwhelm, is the norm. Evolution, processing, and “being poly” dominates my life. It’s too late for a nap, but I am going to go to bed and sleep my brains out.

  2. Amen Sister! But – on the other hand, we do get to live consciously, deliberately and thoughtfully. No phoning it in for us! I recommend a nice glass of wine. a beautiful sunset and a great night of sleep.

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