I really don’t get people sometimes.
I spent my morning supporting a family through a patient’s death. All I can really say, is that as a hospice nurse, my perspective is constantly being refocused. There are big things happening to people, everywhere, all the time, and we don’t even realize it. Today someone’s father died. Someone lost a child, a mother, a friend. There is so much going on in the world, and most of us get to be oblivious.
After I left this family, I went to Sonic. I needed to sit in my car and decompress. I ordered a diet cherry lime-aid and I planned to space out on Facebook for a few minutes before heading to my office to do paperwork.
Well.
I moderate a small local poly discussion group on Facebook, with CC. We have 80 people or so, and it’s had some slow growth, but it’s been a solid little group. Yesterday someone posted that she was having her first poly “date” tonight. She was excited and engaged. It was adorable.
Today someone posted that her husband was going out with someone “repulsive” and so unattractive that it was gross. “Gross”! (I can’t even imagine someone saying this!) Do you see where this is going? The girl from last night was going out with the husband of the girl who posted today. I was appalled.
I came late in the conversation, apparently it had gotten heated and very ugly, and while the group rallied, people were upset and defensive, and the thread was deleted, I think by the original poster.
People act like this? I just don’t get it. At this point, I want to delete this person from the group…but maybe that’s not the right thing. From what I understand, yes, she did know that the girl her husband was going out with was in the group, which pretty much makes her post a passive aggressive personal attack, and that makes me sick.
Yes, the excited girl from last night canceled the date, and I don’t blame her. I certainly wouldn’t want to engage with someone when the potential metamour is either that jealous, insecure, or just plain mean.
The end.
Poly Nirvana 
It’s sad that people can be so ugly but insecurity and fears can bring out the worst in people. The person who posted the negativity isn’t doing herself any favors. If it were me, I would not have canceled the date but would have understood if the husband wanted to back out. Screw negative people. I would at least give it a shot and if it proved to be too much, back out but I wouldn’t want anyone to stomp over me. Too old for that nonsense.
For me, a vicious potential metamour would be a huge hard limit. Even if it was just for a casual date. It’s just hard to believe people act like this.