Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

~Fence~

2 Comments

I have some conflict with my metamours, both partners of Special Man Friend.

I understand that I am the common denominator, and that I am responsible for me and for my lack of conflict resolution skills.

But I am feeling pretty solitary right now.

It’s hard to know what to do; what action to take. It’s hard to know exactly what I want, and then to hold that up to what I think I am obligated to do, it’s very noisy in my brain.  The debate goes back and forth.

Reason:  Someone needs to mend that bridge.  

Emotion:  Fuck that.  They wrecked the bridge too.  Why do I have to fix it?

Reason:  You’re an adult.  Do something adult-ish.  

Emotion:  I don’t know what to do!  Why do I have to do everything?  

Reason: Relationships take effort.  

Emotion:  Yeah, well I don’t care.  I didn’t ask to be in a relationship with them.

Reason:  Well you are.  And you did.

Emotion: Did not.

Reason: ……….

Emotion:  Polyamory is dumb. 

Reason: No it isn’t.

Emotion:  Yes it is and I hate everyone.

Reason:  ………

Emotion:  Wah. I don’t know what to do. 

Reason:  You should just think more. Thinking more is always a good idea.  Thinking is the best!

Emotion:  I’m sick of thinking about it.

Reason:  Then do something.

Emotion:  ………….

Reason:  …………..

Emotion:  I’m taking a nap.

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “~Fence~

  1. Metamour conflict is the worst 😦

  2. You have to be polite. You have to be understanding regarding your man having these partners. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to have a “relationship”with them. To what end? You do have to be open and honest with yourself about your feelings – and ensure that that those feelings don’t spill over into behavior that may not be warranted. But that’s it. Why put this pressure on yourself? I don’t know how SMF sees it – but what person wouldn’t want all their loves getting along like one big happy? Too bad. We don’t always get that. Cut yourself some slack beauty.

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