I have some conflict with my metamours, both partners of Special Man Friend.
I understand that I am the common denominator, and that I am responsible for me and for my lack of conflict resolution skills.
But I am feeling pretty solitary right now.
It’s hard to know what to do; what action to take. It’s hard to know exactly what I want, and then to hold that up to what I think I am obligated to do, it’s very noisy in my brain. The debate goes back and forth.
Reason: Someone needs to mend that bridge.
Emotion: Fuck that. They wrecked the bridge too. Why do I have to fix it?
Reason: You’re an adult. Do something adult-ish.
Emotion: I don’t know what to do! Why do I have to do everything?
Reason: Relationships take effort.
Emotion: Yeah, well I don’t care. I didn’t ask to be in a relationship with them.
Reason: Well you are. And you did.
Emotion: Did not.
Emotion: Polyamory is dumb.
Reason: No it isn’t.
Emotion: Yes it is and I hate everyone.
Emotion: Wah. I don’t know what to do.
Reason: You should just think more. Thinking more is always a good idea. Thinking is the best!
Emotion: I’m sick of thinking about it.
Reason: Then do something.
Emotion: I’m taking a nap.