~Respite~

1.  a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant.
   *(Google Dictionary)

I needed rest.  Relief.  Things were difficult.  Things were unpleasant.

And suddenly, it’s a year and a half later.  I’m still me.  I’m still poly.  But I am solo, single, solitary.  I like to think I’m philosophically polyamorous, but I am restless, unpartnered, hesitant I have been content on my own for the last many months.

But.  I am lonely.

I’m disillusioned.  Maybe a little cynical.  I think that’s always been part of my personality, but it’s become exquisitely clear that I am shifting.

In the last year I explored casual relationships, I dated; I distracted myself with nonsense.  I worked, I worried, sometimes I wept.  I hibernated during the winter months, and now spring is here.

I’m back.