Category Archives: Uncategorized

I’m thirty four thousand feet above the earth.  In a few hours, I’ll be in Phoenix. My sister, will pick me up from the airport, but I’m going for Special Man Friend. His Dad is dying. “Is his wife here?” she asked me when I said I was coming. When I said she was not,Continue reading “The Things We Do”

I love that it’s January.  I love that each year has a beginning and an end.  There’s a little bit of a mental reset button for me. January 9th marks one year since my exhusbands suicide, and I am feeling it.  The kid are too, though only one has actually said anything.  I’m not sureContinue reading “~January~”

I am binge watching Hoarders.  I have been in the middle of a huge purge in the last weeks.  I am far from a hoarder, but seeing the  extremes is motivating.  I like the things the therapists say about Things being tied to Feelings.   When it comes to Things, I do hold on.  AsContinue reading “Waking up.”

We’ve all heard it.  The Polyamory-ites love to tout “Love is infinite.”  Then of course we also hear, Love may be infinite, but time is not.  Thus the poly culture phenomenon, Google Calendar, which has become some sort of social poly icon at this point. “We’re sharing Google calendars now”, which roughly translates to weContinue reading “But what about the sex already?”

I broke my own rule, and went out with someone new to polyamory. He was easy to talk to, didn’t seem to have an agenda, and had some seriously attractive silver hair.  He also had a wife who was nice and friendly.  They had some experience with swinging, and so I justified that they at leastContinue reading “Wherein I surrender to poly cynicism…”

Special Man Friend is spending time with new people. I want to be happy for him.  I want the elusive Compersion Fairy to visit me in the middle of the night and wave her glitter wand over my sleeping little self and when I wake I will sing of love and metamours and the joyContinue reading “~Disjointed~”

I need some happy. The weight of the Not Happy of late is making my knees buckle, though I’m still standing. Yesterday, my children and I released red balloons into a blue sky for their father who ended his life earlier this year. I bought birthday cupcakes for them to mark the day, and weContinue reading “~Hungry~”

She was married to a man who loved her with ugly words and angry hands. At night, they slept, confined to a bed, seventy-two inches long, eighty-four inches wide, and named for the state they lived in. She slept on the edge of the california king, with her arms tucked close and when she heardContinue reading “The Art of Spooning”

I have been rewriting my personal story of late, or rather, mercilessly editing.  The pages of me, are marked with heavy slashes of red, arrows pointing here, paragraphs moved there.  There are typos that make me cringe, and places where I’ve used the same word over and over, repeating myself mindlessly. I sit, with freshContinue reading “~In-Between~”

For just a moment, for just this moment, my relationship choices mean that I am going to bed alone, when what I want, and even need, is to be tucked in by hands who love me, and shushed when I argue that I’m not sleepy.