Uncategorized – Page 6

~Save Yourself~

The air hostess with her smiling fingers sings the speech of The Oxygen Mask, of putting your own on first which, of course is (not) selfish but we tend to be of no use to anyone if we are gasping for breath. I breathe, somewhere between lightheaded, and useless the soft plastic of the faceContinue reading “~Save Yourself~”

~Father~

It’s the first Father’s Day since my ex-husband, the father of my children, killed himself. Maybe I’m over thinking it, but it feels hard. I’ve mentioned it a couple times, and the kids either don’t want to talk about it, or they truly aren’t feeling it like I am. I plan to grill hamburgers andContinue reading “~Father~”

~Really~

I really don’t get people sometimes. I spent my morning supporting a family through a patient’s death. All I can really say, is that as a hospice nurse, my perspective is constantly being refocused. There are big things happening to people, everywhere, all the time, and we don’t even realize it. Today someone’s father died. SomeoneContinue reading “~Really~”

~Atlanta~

I did it. I flew to Atlanta, presented two classes at Atlanta Poly Weekend, and flew home. I did not get lost, I did not miss any flights. I navigated an entire three days of high level social interaction, on my own. I knew a handful of people, and that made a huge difference. MyContinue reading “~Atlanta~”

~Complicated~

Sometimes, I’m tired of how complicated polyamory is. I get tired of talking about it, thinking about it, reading about it. I understand this is ironic, considering that I’ve spent the last few years, talking about poly, thinking about poly, and writing about poly for goodness sake. I don’t wanna have to think so much aboutContinue reading “~Complicated~”

~Timing~

Sunday morning, time to write. I’ve felt uninspired lately. So today, I’ve got the timer set for ten minutes, and I am going to write with self editing. Sometimes this helps me find my mojo. It’s not that there’s nothing happening. There’s plenty happening. Maybe that’s the problem. There’s TOO much happening. My new jobContinue reading “~Timing~”

~Positive~

I’m quite positive that there’s no way to avoid negativity. I’m a worrier. Conflict makes me sick to my stomach, and awkwardness is worse. You know the kind of awkwardness I mean, when people are trying to be civil but everyone feels tongue-tied and is afraid to speak. SMF and Mrs. A are both hurtContinue reading “~Positive~”

~Brunch~

Today I had a house full of poly people for a waffle brunch. Half of them I had never met. It went really well. I was relieved that Mrs. A didn’t come. She and Special Man Friend have been broken up almost a month. Almost. Actually, she broke up with him, by text. By text,Continue reading “~Brunch~”

~Darkness~

I was date raped. I told myself, long ago, that I would not qualify the rape, as a date rape. Rape is rape, and somehow, whenever I say date rape, I have a vague feeling that I’m apologizing for myself, for my part, for being in that place, with that man, who said he lovedContinue reading “~Darkness~”

~Community~

I go back and forth about the poly community. Let’s backtrack. There’s not much of a poly community here. It’s a small-ish, conservative, fairly religious area. Polyamory is still considered immoral by a lot of people, even if they aren’t religious at all. I wasn’t out as poly for a long time, and now, thoughContinue reading “~Community~”