Growth – Page 4 – Poly Nirvana

~Happy~

I have a therapist, who I have seen on and off again since 2008. He’s wonderful at reflecting back ME, to myself. I use him when I need to focus. Sometimes I use him just to verbalize what I already know, and need to hear out loud. I saw him this morning. “When are youContinue reading “~Happy~”

~Unblocking~

Today SMF teased me a little about slacking on my writing. It’s nice to know that he keeps an eye on my blog, and is interested in reading what I write. It also blocks me sometimes, from writing things I might share if I was truly anonymous. I almost always work through it though, generallyContinue reading “~Unblocking~”

~Returning~

I feel as if I’m in some sort of No Man’s Land. I’m doing much better than even last week as far as pain goes, but my body is tired all of the time, if not utterly exhausted. I’m starting to realize how many things I need to take care of, things that were necessarilyContinue reading “~Returning~”

~Spoken~

I choked. Special Man and I were at dinner with Dad and his long-term girlfriend. And I was emotional and not feeling well; I had all but decided to let things go for another conversation, another day. After all, why did Dad need to know anything about my alternative relationship structure? Who the hell cared?Continue reading “~Spoken~”

~Patriarch~

My dad grew up in an unhappy, sometimes violent, certainly emotionally abusive family. His father essentially abandoned his family when my dad was 16. He left for another woman, with whom he’d had an affair and subsequently married. My dad swore he would never ever do that to his children, or to the mother ofContinue reading “~Patriarch~”

~Birth~

I get paid to watch over women during childbirth. It is incredible, and amazing, labor-intensive and sometimes heartbreaking. There’s a moment, when a woman realizes that this thing she is doing, is really happening, and there is nothing she can do to change it. In this moment, there is a look of panic onContinue reading “~Birth~”

~Write~

About a month ago, I was referred to on another website as a “blogger”. Oh pish posh, I thought, I’m not a Blogger. That sounds kind of serious, like some kind of commitment to have something to say, all the time… I’m just fooling around a little… And then, a few days later, it hitContinue reading “~Write~”

~After~

I came out of an ugly, sixteen year marriage angry and exhausted. A lot of my anger was directed at myself. I had worked so hard to be the wife who didn’t upset him, the woman who didn’t look at him the wrong way, the girl who didn’t say his name in That ToneContinue reading “~After~”

~Preach~

Once upon a time, there was a Southern Baptist man who told me he was polyamorous. An hour into our first date, I knew that he was a liar. He had a wife. And she thought they were a happily married, monogamous couple. I was sad and cynical and bitter after my divorce, and forContinue reading “~Preach~”

Guest post: Reflections on “perfect poly” by an accidental metamour.

Much love to my Meta, CC, who wrote this, and who should be very proud that she is finding her own way, to her own poly. My husband and I are each two years into our own extramarital relationships, and I still have trouble self-identifying as polyamorous. There are probably people who would place myContinue reading “Guest post: Reflections on “perfect poly” by an accidental metamour.”