Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory


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~Complicated~

Sometimes, I’m tired of how complicated polyamory is.  I get tired of talking about it, thinking about it, reading about it.

I understand this is ironic, considering that I’ve spent the last few years, talking about poly, thinking about poly, and writing about poly for goodness sake.

I don’t wanna have to think so much about scheduling, and jealousy, and societal norms.

Waah.

Actually, I think I’m just in a cycle right now, where things are piling up on me, and I long for something, anything, to be easy.  Rote, if you will.  I think I miss that security.

I think I miss the mind numbing knowledge of exactly how I was “supposed” to act when I was a young, married,monogamous, religious, housewife.  I wouldn’t change anything.  But yeah.  I think I miss not having to think so much.

Maybe I should take a nap.

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~Timing~

Sunday morning, time to write.

I’ve felt uninspired lately.  So today, I’ve got the timer set for ten minutes, and I am going to write with self editing.  Sometimes this helps me find my mojo.

It’s not that there’s nothing happening.  There’s plenty happening.  Maybe that’s the problem. There’s TOO much happening. My new job may be one of the biggest shocks to my system of my adult life.  That sounds a little dramatic, but it’s been a huge shift for me, on many fronts.  I feel mildly okay about it right now.  I was ready to walk away a few weeks ago.  But I think there’s potential there, so I powered through.  This will be a good week.

We’ve started a local poly discussion group, and our forst meeting went great.  We had an awesome meeting room thanks to CC, and a wonderful turn out.  Sixteen I think.

Mrs. A came, and Special Man handled it alright.  I could see how awkward it was.  Breakups in the poly community are so rough, especially ugly breakups.  After the meeting, CC and SMF and I had a late dinner.  It was comfortable.

I’ve been taking pictures when I can, and I’m headed for a newborn shoot in a few hours.  It would be so wonderful to be able to do photography full time, and be able to pay my bills.  Someday.

Ten minute alarm just went off.  New post!  Ta-da!