a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant.*(Google Dictionary)
I needed rest. Relief. Things were difficult. Things were unpleasant.
And suddenly, it’s a year and a half later. I’m still me. I’m still poly. But I am solo, single, solitary. I like to think I’m philosophically polyamorous, but I am restless, unpartnered, hesitant I have been content on my own for the last many months.
But. I am lonely.
I’m disillusioned. Maybe a little cynical. I think that’s always been part of my personality, but it’s become exquisitely clear that I am shifting.
In the last year I explored casual relationships, I dated; I distracted myself with nonsense. I worked, I worried, sometimes I wept. I hibernated during the winter months, and now spring is here.