noun: respite a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant. *(Google Dictionary) I needed rest. Relief. Things were difficult. Things were unpleasant. And suddenly, it’s a year and a half later. I’m still me. I’m still poly. But I am solo, single, solitary. I like to think I’m philosophically polyamorous, but IContinue reading “~Respite~”
Tag Archives: Polyamory
~Fence~
I have some conflict with my metamours, both partners of Special Man Friend. I understand that I am the common denominator, and that I am responsible for me and for my lack of conflict resolution skills. But I am feeling pretty solitary right now. It’s hard to know what to do; what action to take.Continue reading “~Fence~”
~(untitled)~
When I write, I generally start with a title. Often it’s just a single word, chosen carefully to capture the boiled down essence of what I want to put out into the world, on that. Today I have no title. No message. No common theme. Everything is messy. Half my life is packed into boxes.Continue reading “~(untitled)~”
~Experimental~
I am going to write all the things I have been hesitant to write. Ok, I am going to write some of the things I have been hesitant to write. I’m starting now. I am going to write every day for ten days. I miss my blog, but as with anything, if you lose momentum,Continue reading “~Experimental~”
~Girls~
An interesting thing happened when I wasn’t paying attention. I started getting butterflies in my stomach over a girl. Or three. Girl One: My sweet long distance friend who has always made me a little giddy, from the first time I read her writing, and eventually was able to spend time with in person. (ThatContinue reading “~Girls~”
~Needs~
Today I asked Special Man Friend not to pursue anything with someone who is really making me uncomfortable. I went back and forth about it. Was it a veto? Was it unreasonable? Was I just being a big poly baby? I decided that asking for something was definitely not a veto. I didn’t demand. IContinue reading “~Needs~”
~The 200~
Our Poly Network continues to grow. We planned a night out to celebrate our 200th member, and by the time the night rolled around we were at 240. In Boise. It’s what I’ve wanted for such a long time. Community is such an amazing resource. CC and Special Man Friend were in Texas for aContinue reading “~The 200~”
~Jealousy~
Oh, jealousy. I was driving to pick up Georgia from a friends house this afternoon, and Pandora spit out Natalie Merchant singing Jealousy. The whole song is comparison and sadness. I really wish I understood jealousy better. I’ve read the idea that jealousy is a manifestation of fear, or insecurity, or grief. I want toContinue reading “~Jealousy~”
~Hearts~
We ate steak, at 4:15 in the afternoon, two days before Valentine’s Day. When you’re polyamorous, you have to be flexible; creative. It only bothers me on Christmas, this holiday flexibility, but even then, not as much as in the beginning of my experience with polyamory. I gave him a stack of books, individually wrapped,Continue reading “~Hearts~”
~Progression~
Montana is great. She really is. The other night my two youngest were hanging out in my room before they went to bed, and out of the blue, Georgia says, “Is SMF dating anyone else besides you and CC?” It’s been four years, and while there have been other partners here and there, none haveContinue reading “~Progression~”