Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

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~A Very Big Announcement~


This is really happening.

I am producing a national polyamory focused conference in Boise, Idaho in the Spring.  It’s going to be an AMAZING event.  There are some fantastic national presenters coming, including Cunning Minx and Lusty Guy from the Poly Weekly podcast.

~Presenter list HERE~

Everyone is welcome!!!  Class descriptions will be posted within the next two weeks.  If you’ve never been to a hotel poly conference, you should come, or find another one that works for you, like the Atlanta Poly Weekend, or Beyond the Love in Ohio.  It’s pretty significant to be able to connect with other poly people.  Community is invaluable.

So excited.  🙂





~Deal Or No Deal~

Benjamin had some sweet qualities.

There came a moment where I realized that he reminded me of my ex-husband.  My abusive, unstable, volatile, ex-husband. It was nothing obvious, or blatant, just a couple of comments that gave me pause.  A few days later, in response to hearing that I had bought myself a new adult toy for Christmas, a real splurge for me and one that I was excited about, Benjamin said I’m sorry I don’t do it for you, and over the next few days he went from subtle sulking to passive aggressive comments, and that was that.

I don’t have the time or energy for this.

I’m too valuable. Too valuable and precious, to myself.

The last few months have solidified my poly viewpoint.  Above all, I value connection that accepts me exactly as I am. Now.  And that’s what I want to reciprocate.  An unconditional acceptance of someone or someones for who they are at their core.  I value kindness.  I value self-awareness, and the ability and desire to communicate.

I value these things in friends, in lovers, in my relationships with my children.  I want to find every ounce of love and connection that I can.  I want honesty and authenticity.  I want to love real people, because I am a real person, a real and imperfect person who is trying her best to live a good life.

And I want to surround myself with people like that.  People who are trying their best.

That’s my poly.

I don’t know exactly what that will end up looking like.  But I do know what it feels like.






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I still write, but it’s harder. I think the blog is gasping her last few breaths.

I still love someone who loves me but we seem to be…paused.  The pause is vast and silent,   and so much bigger than I ever expected.

I am open to life.  I am open to change.