When I write, I generally start with a title. Often it’s just a single word, chosen carefully to capture the boiled down essence of what I want to put out into the world, on that. Today I have no title. No message. No common theme. Everything is messy. Half my life is packed into boxes.Continue reading “~(untitled)~”
Tag Archives: Fear
~Girls~
An interesting thing happened when I wasn’t paying attention. I started getting butterflies in my stomach over a girl. Or three. Girl One: My sweet long distance friend who has always made me a little giddy, from the first time I read her writing, and eventually was able to spend time with in person. (ThatContinue reading “~Girls~”
~Atlanta~
I did it. I flew to Atlanta, presented two classes at Atlanta Poly Weekend, and flew home. I did not get lost, I did not miss any flights. I navigated an entire three days of high level social interaction, on my own. I knew a handful of people, and that made a huge difference. MyContinue reading “~Atlanta~”
~Flight~
Wendover, Nevada. Oh my goodness: A thirty eight minute flight on a plane which was filled with excited and chatty senior citizens. Special Man Friend found a dirt cheap weekend package, and apparently it’s very popular with the over 65 crowd. It’s been a good giggle. (I know I’m no spring chicken. But come on!Continue reading “~Flight~”
~Onward~
Sometimes a really horrible thing can quickly shift your focus. Reorder your priorities. Give you some clarity. I’ve applied for a new job with a local hospice. I’ve made some peace with Mrs. A. I’m determined to love my people and let myself be loved. I’m also not sleeping well. I dream all night, every night,Continue reading “~Onward~”
~This is what remains.~
The note said, I’m sorry if I left a mess. It didn’t say, I’m sorry I left a mess. That single word, IF, left me fuming. (Today’s emotions are brought to you by the Second Stage of Grief: ANGER, and by my First Night of Real Sleep in ten days.) If? Of course you leftContinue reading “~This is what remains.~”
~Footing~
Life is messy. It just is. I started writing my blog because I needed to think out loud. I needed to organize my thoughts, in words, sentences; paragraphs. Along the way people noticed, and that was good too. I got feedback and validation and support. I heard from people who liked that I was soContinue reading “~Footing~”
~Review~
I haven’t been able to eat today. I’ve tried. My brain says eat. But I feel sick. Sick with that dread feeling, when there’s so much spilt milk that you are certain you will never be able to clean it up. There will always be another spot, another drop, another puddle. In the Mormon church,Continue reading “~Review~”
/poly/not poly/
One of my most pleasurable tasks in school, was diagramming sentences. (What can I say, I was an odd child.) The compound predicates and the gerund phrases. The modifiers and the prepositions. Adverbs. Interjections. Subjects and verbs. Every word, analyzed and mapped out. Organized. Every single word had a place. It was perfect. It wasContinue reading “/poly/not poly/”
Save yourself.
The air hostess with her smiling fingers sings the speech of The Oxygen Mask, of putting your own on first which, of course is (not) selfish but we tend to be of no use to anyone if we are gasping for breath. I breathe, somewhere between lightheaded, and useless the soft plastic of the faceContinue reading “Save yourself.”
Poly Nirvana 