Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory



~Ten Terrible Things (I Have Thought in the Past Month)~

1)  I could just walk out of this Walmart with this giant bag of weed and feed and nobody would even bat an eye, I’m so innocent looking…Should I?  (No, I didn’t.)

2)  Do I really have to sit through a three hour high school graduation ceremony just to see my kid on stage for five seconds?  Is there any way to get out of this?  (The answer to that is NO.  There is no way to get out of it.)

3)  FUCK, this vagina smells horrendous!  (Not my vagina.  Workplace casualty.)

4)  If only my ex-husband were dead…life would be so much simpler.  (This one is truly terrible.)

5)  Maybe I’m not really polyamorous… Am I a poly poser??   (This one deserves it’s own post. Forthcoming.)

6)   I’m fat and ugly…  (Sigh. One of my demons.) 

7)  Oh my.  That is not a cute baby.  At all.  (Also, work related.)

8)   Man, my mother did a number on me.  What’s wrong with her, anyway?  (See number 6, above.)

9)   Maybe I’m just unlovable.  (I can’t be the only one who thinks this sometimes.  I just can’t.)

10)  I really need to clean that toilet…(::walking away from said toilet, every day for two weeks before breaking down and cleaning the thing! ::)

And a final, bonus, Terrible Thing I thought this month…

What if I can’t ever write again?  What if my voice is just… gone?   (Oh. Hell. No.)  


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Make me believe the words you speak.
Let the words float from your lips,
like a soft lullaby
only I can hear.
Say the words
that make my body bend to yours
with want, and with heat,
and with a desperate silence
I will be yours.
Give me those words
and I will remember

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Relationship Space

Polyamory on Purpose

Every so often I come across a discussion about designating something (Usually a bed, sometimes a restaurant or other outing) as being only for a primary couple. The idea is the primary couple needs something special and just for them, which is off limits to any secondaries (these discussions almost always involve hierarchical poly). These discussions can get heated. Some people chime in to support the right of the primary relationship to protect itself and its space. Others defend the secondary relationship and saying the couple’s bed makes OSOs second-class citizens in their own relationships.

When I was growing up, my mother had a room she set aside as an office. No one went into her office without first knocking on the door and getting permission. Even my dad, who ran the house in every other way, didn’t go in unless he needed to.

After I moved out of my…

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