Communication – Poly Nirvana

~Fence~

I have some conflict with my metamours, both partners of Special Man Friend. I understand that I am the common denominator, and that I am responsible for me and for my lack of conflict resolution skills. But I am feeling pretty solitary right now. It’s hard to know what to do; what action to take.Continue reading “~Fence~”

~(untitled)~

When I write, I generally start with a title. Often it’s just a single word, chosen carefully to capture the boiled down essence of what I want to put out into the world, on that. Today I have no title. No message. No common theme. Everything is messy. Half my life is packed into boxes.Continue reading “~(untitled)~”

~Needs~

Today I asked Special Man Friend not to pursue anything with someone who is really making me uncomfortable. I went back and forth about it. Was it a veto? Was it unreasonable? Was I just being a big poly baby? I decided that asking for something was definitely not a veto. I didn’t demand. IContinue reading “~Needs~”

~The 200~

Our Poly Network continues to grow. We planned a night out to celebrate our 200th member, and by the time the night rolled around we were at 240. In Boise. It’s what I’ve wanted for such a long time. Community is such an amazing resource. CC and Special Man Friend were in Texas for aContinue reading “~The 200~”

~Hearts~

We ate steak, at 4:15 in the afternoon, two days before Valentine’s Day. When you’re polyamorous, you have to be flexible; creative. It only bothers me on Christmas, this holiday flexibility, but even then, not as much as in the beginning of my experience with polyamory. I gave him a stack of books, individually wrapped,Continue reading “~Hearts~”

~Progression~

Montana is great. She really is. The other night my two youngest were hanging out in my room before they went to bed, and out of the blue, Georgia says, “Is SMF dating anyone else besides you and CC?” It’s been four years, and while there have been other partners here and there, none haveContinue reading “~Progression~”

~Really~

I really don’t get people sometimes. I spent my morning supporting a family through a patient’s death. All I can really say, is that as a hospice nurse, my perspective is constantly being refocused. There are big things happening to people, everywhere, all the time, and we don’t even realize it. Today someone’s father died. SomeoneContinue reading “~Really~”

~Summary~

~Job interview was good, nerve-wracking. Haven’t heard anything, and I have no gut feeling one way or the other as to whether or not a job offer is forthcoming. ~I am having some wanderlust. I want new places,new things to look at, new people to watch. ~I paid off my car this month. Friday itContinue reading “~Summary~”

~Late~

Ten minutes after yesterday’s early morning post, Special Man Friend sent me a text. Come back to bed. I was downstairs on the couch, he was upstairs in my room; he felt so far away. I climbed back into bed, he curled around me, and I had to wonder if he had somehow read my wordsContinue reading “~Late~”

~Early~

It’s six in the morning. I can’t sleep. Special Man Friend is asleep upstairs, in my bed. I feel so far away from him, but I can’t tell him that. He’s got his own demons, and he’s holding them very close to the vest. (What an interesting phrase that is…) I don’t know what toContinue reading “~Early~”