Depression – Poly Nirvana

~Flight~

Wendover, Nevada. Oh my goodness: A thirty eight minute flight on a plane which was filled with excited and chatty senior citizens. Special Man Friend found a dirt cheap weekend package, and apparently it’s very popular with the over 65 crowd. It’s been a good giggle. (I know I’m no spring chicken. But come on!Continue reading “~Flight~”

~Footing~

Life is messy. It just is. I started writing my blog because I needed to think out loud. I needed to organize my thoughts, in words, sentences; paragraphs. Along the way people noticed, and that was good too. I got feedback and validation and support. I heard from people who liked that I was soContinue reading “~Footing~”

~Review~

I haven’t been able to eat today. I’ve tried. My brain says eat. But I feel sick. Sick with that dread feeling, when there’s so much spilt milk that you are certain you will never be able to clean it up. There will always be another spot, another drop, another puddle. In the Mormon church,Continue reading “~Review~”

Save yourself.

The air hostess with her smiling fingers sings the speech of The Oxygen Mask, of putting your own on first which, of course is (not) selfish but we tend to be of no use to anyone if we are gasping for breath. I breathe, somewhere between lightheaded, and useless the soft plastic of the faceContinue reading “Save yourself.”

~Eve~

I remember the electric anticipation of Christmas Eve when I was a small girl. Christmas was magic at my house. My mother lived and breathed Christmas. We did not have a lot of money, but Christmas was absolutely monumental. Toys laid out from Santa, everywhere; stockings overflowing with treasures. My mom loved it. Sugar cookiesContinue reading “~Eve~”

~Happy~

I have a therapist, who I have seen on and off again since 2008. He’s wonderful at reflecting back ME, to myself. I use him when I need to focus. Sometimes I use him just to verbalize what I already know, and need to hear out loud. I saw him this morning. “When are youContinue reading “~Happy~”

~Sliver~

A good portion of my interactions with Special Man Friend take place via technology like text, email, and Google Talk. He lives twenty minutes away from me (twenty five on a heavy traffic day…) and I see him at least once a week, usually twice. It’s important to me to have some daily contact, thoughContinue reading “~Sliver~”