Compersion – Poly Nirvana

~Jealousy~

Oh, jealousy. I was driving to pick up Georgia from a friends house this afternoon, and Pandora spit out Natalie Merchant singing Jealousy. The whole song is comparison and sadness. I really wish I understood jealousy better. I’ve read the idea that jealousy is a manifestation of fear, or insecurity, or grief. I want toContinue reading “~Jealousy~”

~Early~

It’s six in the morning. I can’t sleep. Special Man Friend is asleep upstairs, in my bed. I feel so far away from him, but I can’t tell him that. He’s got his own demons, and he’s holding them very close to the vest. (What an interesting phrase that is…) I don’t know what toContinue reading “~Early~”

~Flight~

Wendover, Nevada. Oh my goodness: A thirty eight minute flight on a plane which was filled with excited and chatty senior citizens. Special Man Friend found a dirt cheap weekend package, and apparently it’s very popular with the over 65 crowd. It’s been a good giggle. (I know I’m no spring chicken. But come on!Continue reading “~Flight~”

~Fine~

Disclaimer: This is the real poly that goes on in my imperfect life. It is neither enlightened, nor glamorous, despite what you may think of my awesome poly skills. You have been warned. Alright, poly peeps. Let’s say, you’re having a crabby day. And, in an effort to cheer you up, your partner sends youContinue reading “~Fine~”

~Year~

One year ago today, I posted my first writing on Poly Nirvana, titled “Perfect Poly”. I actually had written it a year before that, out of frustration with the larger poly community and this feeling of not fitting in anywhere; of not being evolved enough to feel true compersion, or mature enough to not everContinue reading “~Year~”

~Swing~

Over the weekend, Special Man and I were in a Dollar Store picking up party supplies, for a “Day of the Dead” themed event I hosted in my home on Saturday night. I’m not sure how we got on the subject of compersion, of all things, as we walked down the medicine aisle, but heContinue reading “~Swing~”

~Sheriff~

So I drove five and a half hours last week, to Bend, Oregon for a date with a man I had never met in person. This is not something I would typically do, but there were a few different reasons I wanted to do this. The Sheriff and I connected through OKCupid. He is smartContinue reading “~Sheriff~”

Guest post: Reflections on “perfect poly” by an accidental metamour.

Much love to my Meta, CC, who wrote this, and who should be very proud that she is finding her own way, to her own poly. My husband and I are each two years into our own extramarital relationships, and I still have trouble self-identifying as polyamorous. There are probably people who would place myContinue reading “Guest post: Reflections on “perfect poly” by an accidental metamour.”

~Stuck~

I can’t write. I am frozen, because my self-edit button is constantly on. I’m not quite anonymous here, and I’m constantly wondering who I know, knows that this is me. I know my guy does, which means my Metamour does. So when I want to say something like, “I’m pretty sure my boyfriend’s wife wishesContinue reading “~Stuck~”

~Compersion, Thou Art A Harsh Mistress~

I think compersion is overrated. There. I said it. There’s nothing in the poly world that has the potential to make me feel more inadequate than the concept of compersion. Compersion as defined by Wikipedia (because, you know, it isn’t a word that has even made it into the dictionary, at least as far asContinue reading “~Compersion, Thou Art A Harsh Mistress~”