Friends – Poly Nirvana

~Really~

I really don’t get people sometimes. I spent my morning supporting a family through a patient’s death. All I can really say, is that as a hospice nurse, my perspective is constantly being refocused. There are big things happening to people, everywhere, all the time, and we don’t even realize it. Today someone’s father died. SomeoneContinue reading “~Really~”

~Atlanta~

I did it. I flew to Atlanta, presented two classes at Atlanta Poly Weekend, and flew home. I did not get lost, I did not miss any flights. I navigated an entire three days of high level social interaction, on my own. I knew a handful of people, and that made a huge difference. MyContinue reading “~Atlanta~”

~Community~

I go back and forth about the poly community. Let’s backtrack. There’s not much of a poly community here. It’s a small-ish, conservative, fairly religious area. Polyamory is still considered immoral by a lot of people, even if they aren’t religious at all. I wasn’t out as poly for a long time, and now, thoughContinue reading “~Community~”

~Proven~

I like having relationships. I like connection, and intimacy, and comfortably “fitting” with another person in some way. This includes my children, my work friends, my sisters, not just romantic relationships. On my OkCupid profile, which really should be rewritten at some point, I say that I “hate” first dates. This is probably an understatement.Continue reading “~Proven~”

~Flight~

Wendover, Nevada. Oh my goodness: A thirty eight minute flight on a plane which was filled with excited and chatty senior citizens. Special Man Friend found a dirt cheap weekend package, and apparently it’s very popular with the over 65 crowd. It’s been a good giggle. (I know I’m no spring chicken. But come on!Continue reading “~Flight~”

~Review~

I haven’t been able to eat today. I’ve tried. My brain says eat. But I feel sick. Sick with that dread feeling, when there’s so much spilt milk that you are certain you will never be able to clean it up. There will always be another spot, another drop, another puddle. In the Mormon church,Continue reading “~Review~”

~Hurt~

Conflict is painful. Everyone thinks they are right. Nobody wants to be wrong. If you can get to a point that you can even admit that maybe you were wrong, you certainly weren’t that wrong, and there was a very good reason for what you did, or what you said, or how you acted. IContinue reading “~Hurt~”

~Aftermath~

Christmas afternoon I wandered around surveying the damage, taking a few pictures. The ham dinner was done, the presents unwrapped. Children lounged here and there, and all I wanted was a nap. My youngest had burned her arm on a hot cookie sheet, and I had forgotten to put the candy canes on the treeContinue reading “~Aftermath~”

~Give~

This evening, as I was sitting staring at a blank computer screen, idly considering whether to write about my recent anti-poly state of mind, or my excitement about my New Year’s resolution list, the doorbell rang. It was just before nine pm, and I had just put my youngest two to bed. They ran pastContinue reading “~Give~”

~Much~

I should be asleep. The house is dreadfully quiet. The children have gone to my mother’s for a Thanksgiving meal, and I have been left alone to sleep. I got home from work this morning at 8am, and I’ll leave for another shift a little after 6pm. But I can’t sleep. I’ve had an amazingContinue reading “~Much~”