Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory


5 Comments

~Needy~

I recently received a comment from someone on the blog, stating that I was needy, and that life wasn’t about getting what you want.

At first I was offended.  Defensive, even, in a knee-jerk kind of way.  “Needy” is kind of a trigger word for many women.  It is for me, anyhow.  The last thing I want to do is rock any boats, or take up any more space than absolutely necessary.

Except that’s not exactly true.  And the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

I do have needs! I work hard to be self-aware and find ways to have those needs met, while still being a good and kind human to the other humans around me. Anyone who says they DON’T have needs is either lying or delusional.

And how sad is it that there are people out there who think life isn’t about getting what you want…Now it isn’t ONLY about me and my wants and needs.  But I’ll be damned if I’m not going to work my hardest to have the best life I can, and to proactively go after the things that I NEED and the things that I WANT.

So there.

::blows raspberry::

 


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~Fence~

I have some conflict with my metamours, both partners of Special Man Friend.

I understand that I am the common denominator, and that I am responsible for me and for my lack of conflict resolution skills.

But I am feeling pretty solitary right now.

It’s hard to know what to do; what action to take. It’s hard to know exactly what I want, and then to hold that up to what I think I am obligated to do, it’s very noisy in my brain.  The debate goes back and forth.

Reason:  Someone needs to mend that bridge.  

Emotion:  Fuck that.  They wrecked the bridge too.  Why do I have to fix it?

Reason:  You’re an adult.  Do something adult-ish.  

Emotion:  I don’t know what to do!  Why do I have to do everything?  

Reason: Relationships take effort.  

Emotion:  Yeah, well I don’t care.  I didn’t ask to be in a relationship with them.

Reason:  Well you are.  And you did.

Emotion: Did not.

Reason: ……….

Emotion:  Polyamory is dumb. 

Reason: No it isn’t.

Emotion:  Yes it is and I hate everyone.

Reason:  ………

Emotion:  Wah. I don’t know what to do. 

Reason:  You should just think more. Thinking more is always a good idea.  Thinking is the best!

Emotion:  I’m sick of thinking about it.

Reason:  Then do something.

Emotion:  ………….

Reason:  …………..

Emotion:  I’m taking a nap.

 

 

 

 

 


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~Today~

I’m just about packed and ready to head to Atlanta in the morning.  Special Man Friend is spending tonight with me, and will wake up early and drive me to the airport before heading home to get ready for work.  While the actual travel part of traveling stresses me out, I do enjoy being in different places.  I would love to be able to teleport anywhere I want to go, and just be there already.

I have a fun and exciting announcement coming on June 15th.  I can’t wait!

 

More tomorrow from Atlanta!  Woohoo!