When I write, I generally start with a title. Often it’s just a single word, chosen carefully to capture the boiled down essence of what I want to put out into the world, on that. Today I have no title. No message. No common theme. Everything is messy. Half my life is packed into boxes.Continue reading “~(untitled)~”
Tag Archives: Love
~Girls~
An interesting thing happened when I wasn’t paying attention. I started getting butterflies in my stomach over a girl. Or three. Girl One: My sweet long distance friend who has always made me a little giddy, from the first time I read her writing, and eventually was able to spend time with in person. (ThatContinue reading “~Girls~”
~Needs~
Today I asked Special Man Friend not to pursue anything with someone who is really making me uncomfortable. I went back and forth about it. Was it a veto? Was it unreasonable? Was I just being a big poly baby? I decided that asking for something was definitely not a veto. I didn’t demand. IContinue reading “~Needs~”
~Hearts~
We ate steak, at 4:15 in the afternoon, two days before Valentine’s Day. When you’re polyamorous, you have to be flexible; creative. It only bothers me on Christmas, this holiday flexibility, but even then, not as much as in the beginning of my experience with polyamory. I gave him a stack of books, individually wrapped,Continue reading “~Hearts~”
~Progression~
Montana is great. She really is. The other night my two youngest were hanging out in my room before they went to bed, and out of the blue, Georgia says, “Is SMF dating anyone else besides you and CC?” It’s been four years, and while there have been other partners here and there, none haveContinue reading “~Progression~”
~Me~
I have a job interview in the morning. Hospice. It’s a completely new area for me. I’ve been in labor and delivery for almost nine years, and the idea of doing something new is terrifying and exciting. I don’t know if this is something that will work for me, but I am happy to have somethingContinue reading “~Me~”
~Late~
Ten minutes after yesterday’s early morning post, Special Man Friend sent me a text. Come back to bed. I was downstairs on the couch, he was upstairs in my room; he felt so far away. I climbed back into bed, he curled around me, and I had to wonder if he had somehow read my wordsContinue reading “~Late~”
~Early~
It’s six in the morning. I can’t sleep. Special Man Friend is asleep upstairs, in my bed. I feel so far away from him, but I can’t tell him that. He’s got his own demons, and he’s holding them very close to the vest. (What an interesting phrase that is…) I don’t know what toContinue reading “~Early~”
~Flight~
Wendover, Nevada. Oh my goodness: A thirty eight minute flight on a plane which was filled with excited and chatty senior citizens. Special Man Friend found a dirt cheap weekend package, and apparently it’s very popular with the over 65 crowd. It’s been a good giggle. (I know I’m no spring chicken. But come on!Continue reading “~Flight~”
~Onward~
Sometimes a really horrible thing can quickly shift your focus. Reorder your priorities. Give you some clarity. I’ve applied for a new job with a local hospice. I’ve made some peace with Mrs. A. I’m determined to love my people and let myself be loved. I’m also not sleeping well. I dream all night, every night,Continue reading “~Onward~”