My ex-husband lives in a homeless shelter, and there’s nothing I can do about it. In the six years since I took my children and left, he has deteriorated into a person I hardly recognize.
I started to read something today, about the #WhyIStayed stories trending on the interwebs. These are the stories of abuse victims, and you can either Google or check out Twitter if you are interested. I had to stop reading at one point, because some of the words hit so close to where I live. My secret is that I stayed because I wasn’t strong enough to leave. And it took me a long time to forgive myself for that.
Today I am strong. I am independent. I am also guarded, and slow to trust. It affects me, every day, and it affects my relationships. So be it.
Special Man and I are in a new, solid place with each other. I’ve come out to my children; my mother. My Meta CC is coming to meet the kids in a couple of days. We have pizza and Uno planned. I am both optimistic, and terrified. I want it all. I want my big happy poly family fantasy.
But I’ve been disappointed before.