Conflict – Poly Nirvana

~Fence~

I have some conflict with my metamours, both partners of Special Man Friend. I understand that I am the common denominator, and that I am responsible for me and for my lack of conflict resolution skills. But I am feeling pretty solitary right now. It’s hard to know what to do; what action to take.Continue reading “~Fence~”

~Really~

I really don’t get people sometimes. I spent my morning supporting a family through a patient’s death. All I can really say, is that as a hospice nurse, my perspective is constantly being refocused. There are big things happening to people, everywhere, all the time, and we don’t even realize it. Today someone’s father died. SomeoneContinue reading “~Really~”

~Late~

Ten minutes after yesterday’s early morning post, Special Man Friend sent me a text. Come back to bed. I was downstairs on the couch, he was upstairs in my room; he felt so far away. I climbed back into bed, he curled around me, and I had to wonder if he had somehow read my wordsContinue reading “~Late~”

~Early~

It’s six in the morning. I can’t sleep. Special Man Friend is asleep upstairs, in my bed. I feel so far away from him, but I can’t tell him that. He’s got his own demons, and he’s holding them very close to the vest. (What an interesting phrase that is…) I don’t know what toContinue reading “~Early~”

~Flight~

Wendover, Nevada. Oh my goodness: A thirty eight minute flight on a plane which was filled with excited and chatty senior citizens. Special Man Friend found a dirt cheap weekend package, and apparently it’s very popular with the over 65 crowd. It’s been a good giggle. (I know I’m no spring chicken. But come on!Continue reading “~Flight~”

~Review~

I haven’t been able to eat today. I’ve tried. My brain says eat. But I feel sick. Sick with that dread feeling, when there’s so much spilt milk that you are certain you will never be able to clean it up. There will always be another spot, another drop, another puddle. In the Mormon church,Continue reading “~Review~”

/poly/not poly/

One of my most pleasurable tasks in school, was diagramming sentences. (What can I say, I was an odd child.) The compound predicates and the gerund phrases. The modifiers and the prepositions. Adverbs. Interjections. Subjects and verbs. Every word, analyzed and mapped out. Organized. Every single word had a place. It was perfect. It wasContinue reading “/poly/not poly/”

~Meh~

I have three or four drafts working for blog posts. Some deep thinking kind of stuff. But it’s not coming together. I want to write, but I can’t find my words. In the morning I start my prep day for Thanksgiving. I can’t wait. I’m excited to have a house full of people. I’m excitedContinue reading “~Meh~”

~Tuesday~

I’ve reread last nights post. Several times. It’s probably the only time I’ve written in the heat of the moment like that. It was reactionary, and emotional. I thought about deleting it, especially as I’m still all worked up and wacky over it. But I can’t delete it. Because it’s a real thing that happensContinue reading “~Tuesday~”

~Fine~

Disclaimer: This is the real poly that goes on in my imperfect life. It is neither enlightened, nor glamorous, despite what you may think of my awesome poly skills. You have been warned. Alright, poly peeps. Let’s say, you’re having a crabby day. And, in an effort to cheer you up, your partner sends youContinue reading “~Fine~”